Reflecting on Our Relationship with Receiving Feedback
Reflecting on Our Relationship with Receiving Feedback
Feedback is our best tool for understanding how others experience us and how we can be more effective in our roles. People who seek out constructive feedback at work adapt more quickly to new roles, receive higher ratings on performance reviews and report higher satisfaction in their jobs (HBR). We all have blind spots when it comes to our own behavior and performance, so the more we can grow our self awareness, the more we will be able to advance, grow, and adapt at work.
According to feedback researcher Sheila Heen, there is up to a 3000% variation in time it takes people to recover from feedback. In other words, sensitivity to feedback drastically varies by person. You may be someone who wants people to cut to the chase and give it to you straight. Or you may be someone who needs a higher ratio of positive to critical feedback, because one piece of criticism can send you reeling for weeks.
The interesting thing is, we tend to give feedback the way we like to receive it. (And if you’ve had a bad experience receiving it, you may avoid giving it altogether.) The bottom line is: understanding your relationship to feedback matters. Knowing your sensitivity level can help you recognize and start to dismantle your personal bias in regards to feedback.
If you want to deepen your awareness of how you receive feedback so that you can be more open to feedback that will enhance your own growth and success at work, here are a few questions to reflect on:
Think of a time that you benefited from feedback - even if it was hard to hear. How did it help you?
Think of a time that you didn’t receive feedback well. Why was that? (tone of voice, incorrect information, perception of the person giving feedback, how it was communicated, etc.) What was your reaction? (i.e. defensiveness, anger, dismissal, etc.)
Be honest about your own sensitivity level. Do you tend to recover quickly or slowly after getting feedback? Do you seek out feedback or tend to avoid it?
Are there any beliefs or narratives about feedback that you need to reframe in order to be more open to it?
Creating a culture of feedback takes practice and application. If you’re a leader in your organization, learning to receive feedback well will set the tone for others. By understanding your relationship to feedback and overcoming some of your own barriers, you can normalize the concept of feedback and create a feedback-rich culture that promotes growth and learning.