Feedback Mistake #1 (part 1/3)
Feedback Mistake #1 (part 1/3)
In our experience, one of the most underdeveloped skills in the workplace is how to give feedback.
Good feedback. Feedback that actually educates others and helps them improve.
So we decided we’d do a summer series on the most common mistakes that we make giving feedback, and how to do it differently.
Because feedback is a gift, when it's given well.
Let's get into it, shall we?
Mistake #1: The Feedback Sandwich
If you haven’t heard this term before, the feedback sandwich is when you give a compliment, then share your constructive feedback, and end it (or sandwich it, if you will) with another compliment.
This looks something like: “Suzy, you’re amazing and so good at your job. But if there’s one thing you could improve, it would be the accuracy of your reports. But seriously, you’re so great and we’re so lucky to have you!”
People recommend this method because it supposedly helps the constructive feedback sting less. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
The reality is that the feedback sandwich sends confusing mixed messages. The other person usually walks away feeling good and missing your point altogether.
Most of the time, the other person isn't clear that you want them to change their behavior.
We typically give feedback this way because we’re avoiding saying the hard, true thing. Not because it’s more effective.
If the point of feedback is to help the other person on how to improve, then the feedback sandwich is going to fall short time and time again.
What can you do instead?
Separate your positive feedback from your constructive feedback. You can even do this in one conversation, if needed. (i.e. “I want to talk about some things you’re doing really well, and then some ways that I think you could be even more effective.”)
Let your positive feedback stand on its own.
Let your constructive feedback stand on its own.
It may feel more uncomfortable at first, but it's much more authentic this way. Your communication will be more clear, and the other person will have a much better chance of hearing what you intend to say.
So, next time you feel the impulse to cushion constructive feedback in compliments, take a deep breath and say what you mean instead.
Are you looking for support on how your team can build a stronger feedback culture? Reach out to hello@conscious-culture.co.